A Man and His #McChicken

Love knows no culinary bounds.

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I’m not ashamed to admit that I love McDonald’s. I still eat Chicken McNuggets like they came from the table of Zeus himself. McDonald’s fries are still the best fries in the world. Hell, even the fact that I can’t go into McDonald’s without being subjected to Fox News hasn’t crippled my love of the place.

I have been indoctrinated by Ronald McDonald more effectively than any holy-rollin’ evangelical preacher who ever tried.

At the same time, I do not love McDonald’s as much as this guy.

Above is one man’s love of McDonald’s going far beyond that of anyone else. This dude went balls deep into a McChicken sandwich and his antics have taken the Internet by storm.

That’s just a small sampling of Tweets about the sitophiliac incident making its tour of the World Wide Web.

The fact this story is trending speaks to our cultural relationship with paraphilias. For most of us, our thing likely isn’t a “long-winded sexual struggle” with something from a fast food dollar menu. Instead it’s hair color, eye color, breast size, booty, nurse outfits, shaved genitalia — generally innocuous stuff. But for other people, their paraphilias are a little more outside of the scope of what we would consider “normal.” After all, this isn’t the first time the Internet buzzed about someone practicing sitophilia.

Just a couple of years ago, Twitter user @VERSACEPOPTARTS uploaded vines of himself screwing a Pop Tarts box, followed by another vine of him fornicating with a Hot Pocket. But the shock vids didn’t stop at merely Internet uploads. He also sent them to the official Twitter accounts of both purveyors of snackage, which resulted in the companies blocking him and account closures by both Twitter and Vine.

With the @VERSACEPOPTARTS incident in mind, maybe I’m reading too much into the McChicken debacle. Maybe the McChickenlover just thought “how can I break the Internet” and decided since he did not have Kim Kardashian’s ass, he would instead just James Deen the shit out of a McChicken sandwich. At the end of the day, regardless of why this video exists, I think it is screenwriter Adam Herz‘s fault.

Featured image by Evan-Amos and is in the public domain.

h/t Inquisitr

#BabesForTrump, Because Why Not?

The DEFINITELY NSFW campaign to support the Donald’s bid for the White House.

Donald Trump’s presidential campaign is, without question, a cavalcade of fuckery. The last 10 months have been a never-ending shitstorm of implied racism, overt racism, implied violence, overt violence, implied sexism, overt sexism, implied jingoism, overt jingoism, and implied (dammit!) overt idiocy.

While Trump’s campaign has been a harrowing experience, and an exhausting one with a ceiling-less capacity for danger, it has been an entertaining one, at least from the “cynical bastard ‘journalist'” perspective. Though, not to downplay how detrimental Trump’s campaign has been both in rhetoric and support because, let’s face it, if you believe that a future wherein a President Trump is making sexist remarks at a meeting with German PM Angela Merkel while fapping all over the Constitution is an optimistic one, then you need to be run over repeatedly by the short bus you should be riding.

In keeping with the tradition of Trump’s “no-frills” attitude when it comes to trying to secure the most prestigious office in the United States, social media’s boner for all things Trump has become a literal descriptor and no longer a vulgar, metaphorical one. Yes, the man who has reached an all-time low in support with the ladies has implied (dammit!) feminine support in his corner. But, instead of his support coming from batshit conservative women who are readily mocked on (an allegedly “sexist”) Saturday Night Live or think their rifle-round necklace would be well-complimented by one made of fetuses, it’s coming from…

Well… here.

If that doesn’t scream “‘Murica, fuck yeah!” I don’t know what does.

How deliciously Trumpian. Women are taking to social media to show off their assets in support of the business mogul-turned-reality TV host-turned-orange politician. And why not? It screams Trump — highly-sexualized, polarizing, and asinine.

“Making America Great Again One Babe At A Time.”

This is fucking hilarious! All manners of sexuality are presented in these posts from the totally SFW —

— to the kinda NSFW —

— to the definitely NSFW —

–to the YOU’RE FIRED!

Is there any reason to be surprised that something like this would happen? Absolutely not. This is Donald Trump’s premium cable presidential campaign. #BabesForTrump, #TitsOutForTrump, and the bevy of other social media tags associated with them are just as feasible as Trump addressing mill workers in rural Nebraska while getting blown behind the podium by Miss Cornhusk 2016.

If nothing else, this is just a testament to the butter-faced cartoon’s brand and popularity… which is only getting higher…

Goddammit.

Featured image is from @BabesForTrump, via Twitter.