I’m not ashamed to admit that I love McDonald’s. I still eat Chicken McNuggets like they came from the table of Zeus himself. McDonald’s fries are still the best fries in the world. Hell, even the fact that I can’t go into McDonald’s without being subjected to Fox News hasn’t crippled my love of the place.
I have been indoctrinated by Ronald McDonald more effectively than any holy-rollin’ evangelical preacher who ever tried.
At the same time, I do not love McDonald’s as much as this guy.
Above is one man’s love of McDonald’s going far beyond that of anyone else. This dude went balls deep into a McChicken sandwich and his antics have taken the Internet by storm.
That’s just a small sampling of Tweets about the sitophiliac incident making its tour of the World Wide Web.
The fact this story is trending speaks to our cultural relationship with paraphilias. For most of us, our thing likely isn’t a “long-winded sexual struggle” with something from a fast food dollar menu. Instead it’s hair color, eye color, breast size, booty, nurse outfits, shaved genitalia — generally innocuous stuff. But for other people, their paraphilias are a little more outside of the scope of what we would consider “normal.” After all, this isn’t the first time the Internet buzzed about someone practicing sitophilia.
Just a couple of years ago, Twitter user @VERSACEPOPTARTS uploaded vines of himself screwing a Pop Tarts box, followed by another vine of him fornicating with a Hot Pocket. But the shock vids didn’t stop at merely Internet uploads. He also sent them to the official Twitter accounts of both purveyors of snackage, which resulted in the companies blocking him and account closures by both Twitter and Vine.
With the @VERSACEPOPTARTS incident in mind, maybe I’m reading too much into the McChicken debacle. Maybe the McChickenlover just thought “how can I break the Internet” and decided since he did not have Kim Kardashian’s ass, he would instead just James Deen the shit out of a McChicken sandwich. At the end of the day, regardless of why this video exists, I think it is screenwriter Adam Herz‘s fault.