America’s Tastes in Porn Revealed! (At Least As of the Time of This Writing)

Note: Before we dive into America’s porn habits, I feel it pertinent to point out that this post will be the first indisputable NSFW post on The Zephyr Lounge: After Dark. TZL:AD was created for this purpose, as well as for exploring different ways of writing, and so far it’s been pretty tame. But, this is the reason why this site exists and (presumably) the reason why you are here. So, without any further delay…

For a culture as puritanical as our own, we sure as shit love porn. Why wouldn’t we? Porn allows for the exploration of sexual fantasy and provides exquisite images by which to wank without any quantifiable social detriment. Even though some would argue the alleged perversion of society can be traced back to pornography, we obvious refute such a silly assertion, especially considering the pornographic industry is a billion-dollar-annually enterprise.

After all, it’s not like Americans don’t like to get fucked.

I assume it was with all of this in mind that Pornhub and Vocativ joined forces to find out exactly what kind of smut Americans like. Sadly, while we love watching people fuck on screen, there isn’t much variation.

In examining all 50 states, Pornhub and Vocativ found that the most common porn search term in each state was:

MILF
Photo Credit: Screengrab/Vivian Schmitt/Pornhub

Only tiny ass Rhode Island felt that MILF’s (Mothers I’d Love to Fuck) were the hottest porn genre available.

ASIAN
Photo Credit: Screengrab/Lucy Thai/Pornhub

The tiny archipelago state of Hawaii are really into Asians.

BLACK
Photo Credit: Screengrab/Pornhub

Louisiana alone really dug porn featuring “black” actors. However, three other states — Mississippi, Georgia, and Delaware — searched for “ebony” more than anything else, so I guess, in that regard, the phrase “post-racial America” does carry some weight somewhere.

MODIFUCKERS
Photo Credit: Screengrab/Hotstuffkieran135/Pornhub

Four states — Nebraska, Arkansas, Tennessee, and New Hampshire — may very well be sporting boners every Saturday morning.

STEP-MOM
Photo Credit: Screengrab/BangMyStepmom/Pristine Edge/Pornhub

Five states — Alaska, Washington, South Dakota, Kentucky, and Vermont — primarily chose porn genres that appealed to their forbidden lust toward their fathers’ new wife.

STEP-SISTER
Photo Credit: Screengrab/Witzlikesporn/Pornhub

Another five states — Montana, Wyoming, Minnesota, Ohio, and Maine — apparently really enjoyed Cruel Intentions.

LESBIAN1
Photo Credit: Screengrab/gangbanglover1/Sophie Moon/Pornhub

Surprise, motherfuckers! The remaining 30 states are big into girl-on-girl action.

But Pornhub and Vocativ didn’t stop with just searches. They dove further into Americans’ sanctum of sexual deviancy to find out which categories were most-watched in each state, via Pornhub’s database. Out of 100 available categories, of which more can be achieved through combination, Pornhub and Vocativ found:

EBONY
Photo Credit: Screengrab/Alicia Tyler/Rico Strong/Pornhub

12 states — Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, Tennessee, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, Maryland, Delaware, and New York — definitely find appeal in black porn stars.

LESBIAN2
Photo Credit: Screengrab/Peaches/Pornhub

19 states — California, Nevada, Arizona, Texas, Oklahoma, Nebraska, Arkansas, Missouri, Illinois, Indiana, Michigan, Ohio, Kentucky, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Connecticut, Rhode Island, and Massachusetts — get their rocks off to women scissor-fucking and muff-diving.

TEEN
Photo Credit: Screengrab/Nicole Ray/Pornhub

The remaining 19 states — Alaska, Hawaii, Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, Utah, Colorado, New Mexico, Kansas, South Dakota, North Dakota, Minnesota, Iowa, Wisconsin, New Hampshire, Vermont, and Maine — primarily watch pornography starring girls who just recently received their high school diplomas.

Goddamnit, we’re boring. There’s so much porn out there and we stick to the basics? Where’s the imagination? Where’s the deviancy? I mean, shit, interracial and same-sex fucking isn’t taboo anymore. Let’s at least get some butt sex in there — after all, it’s on the rise.

But at least now we know. Even though our society is chock full of special interest groups who would love nothing more than for every American to only engage in relations for the purpose of siring more kids (in the dark… missionary… silent), at least we’re still at least using the Internet to make God cry.

Featured image by EmuLegend, available under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported license.

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Author: Robert L. Franklin

Ah, the About Me section - social networking's excuse for you sounding like an elitist prick. Hmm... what to say? What to say?

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